Sunburn Meme (3 Ways British People LOVE Getting Sunburnt)

The sunburn meme is true.

The sun may never set on the British empire, but it rarely rises on our own island.

And as a result, Britain has become a country of radiators and no air conditioning.

We are well prepared for winter but have absolutely no idea how to behave when the sun comes out.

The Great British summer typically consists of two and half months of rain and fourteen days of sunshine.

So, when one of these precious sunny days appears, all previous plans are heartlessly abandoned, and every Great British Bloke devotes their energy to one thing…

Getting sunburnt.

Getting sunburnt on the first day of summer is an ancient British tradition, like maypole dancing or hating the French.

British people truly, deeply believe that it is not possible for there to be two sunny days in a row.

So, every sunny day is treated like the last one for a decade and is characterised by the completion of one of the three following activities:

Day-Drinking At Pub.

The British don’t need much of an excuse to spend the day boozing in a public house, but sunshine is a great one. This decision always follows the same 4-stage routine:

1. Enter a beer garden at about 12:30pm and order the fish and chips.
2. Demolish the food, get on the beers and plow through the Pimm’s. If you do it right, you’ll be nicely drunk by 3pm and nicely burnt by 4pm.
3. Get carried away, order some Jägermeister, and head out on the town to embarrass yourself in Vodka Revs.
4. Wake up in excruciating pain with no regrets.

The combination of total sunburn and crippling hangover is a level of pain only ever experienced by the whites.

And to think, some people claim that we’ve never been oppressed.

Having A BBQ In The Sun.

Bizarrely, everyone in Britain owns a Barbeque.

It usually resides optimistically on the patio, getting abused by mother nature for 350 days a year, just waiting for its moment to shine.

Hosting a BBQ is a team effort, with very clearly defined pink jobs and blue jobs.

When a British couple decides to have BBQ, it’s recommended they follow this routine.

Pink Jobs:

1. Ensure that all friends and family have been invited to come over.
2. Run to the supermarket and buy 10 beef patties, 12 sausages, and 150 units of alcohol.
3. Prepare the salad, chop the vegetables and marinate the meat.
4. Pretend to be attracted to the beer-swilling, dad-bod bearing blokes in your back garden.
5. Prepare the drinks. If you’re working class, smash out the Strongbow, if your middle class buy some Corona and some pink gin, and if your upper class, pop the Dom Perignon.
6. Layout the cutlery, fold the napkins, prepares the plates, and bring the meat to your man

Blue Jobs:

1. Remove shirt
2. Grill meat
3. Take credit

The real art to a great British BBQ is the aesthetic. As a man, it’s your moral duty to be topless and burnt, beer in one hand, tongs in the other.

You must embody the sunburn meme.

Additionally, for the maximum satisfaction of your guests, you must over-cook the outside of the meat and undercook the inside. This takes great skill but can be mastered by your thirties.

Going To The Beach.

Great Britain is a small island, so you’re never more than a 2-hour drive from our pebbly, litter-ridden shoreline.

However, on the first day of summer, someone, usually the matriarch of the household, has the ‘novel’ idea that the family should carpe diem and go to the beach.

So the family bundles in to the car at 10am, starts blasting the Beach Boys on the stereo, and cruises to the coast.

* At no point will it be considered that other people in the country may have had the same idea

Upon arrival, the family will spend 90 minutes looking for parking whilst discussing how surprised they are that other people also went to the beach on a sunny day.

Once parked, they will then spend 30 minutes looking for a spot to lay down their towels between the crowds of peeling pink flesh.

British men and women participate in very different beach activities

The women like lying in the sun reading a book (why they have to travel to the beach for this activity remains a mystery).

Whilst the men like digging holes, building sandcastles, and playing beach cricket.

Either way, it usually takes about 90 minutes for both genders to be thoroughly burned

Only at this point can the day be considered a success and the family can happily head back home.