In Britain, your geographical location dictates whether or not it is socially acceptable to even consider talking to strangers.
The rule is simple.
Talking to strangers is only permitted for those in the North of England (which is anywhere above Oxford).
In the North, people are friendly. They know their neighbors. They care for one another.
If you say hello to a stranger in the North, he will immediately invite you in for a cuppa, introduce you to his bulldog, and start a conversation about the impact of VAR on the premier league.
If you really get on, you may even be offered a hobnob.
This is not the case in the south.
Saying hello to a stranger in the South of England is the equivalent of deep-frying an eagle in America, drop-kicking a kangaroo in Australia, or making fun of big Mo in the Middle East.
Do not do it on pain of death.
Those who say hello to strangers in the South, will be receive raised eyebrows, startled stares, and ‘tuts’ from onlookers.
This rule is particularly strict on public transport.
If you attempt to initiate a conversation with a fellow passenger on the London Underground, you will be escorted off the platform and forced to walk to work.
In Britain, the only people more miserable than Londoners are the Scottish.
In Wales and Ireland, you can initiate a conversation without fearing for your life.
But in Scotland, if they catch a whiff of an English accent you will be given a ‘Glasgow Kiss’, which is not nearly as ‘21st Century’ as it sounds.
It goes without saying that the only exception to this rule, is if you wish to begin a discussion about the weather. Which The Great British Bloke heartily encourages…