All great British blokes are allergic to public transport but love red buses nonetheless.
This is bizarre for two reasons:
Firstly, the British are a punctual bunch; and a red bus hasn’t left on time for over a century.
And secondly, although red buses are considered to be the height of Britishness, they are primarily used to transport Chinese tourists and chavs between shopping centers.
There’s nothing worse than sitting next to strangers on public transport.
Having to listen to the great unwashed talk about their commute, or how ‘dope’ Stormzy’s new album is, is literal torture.
God forbid, one of them might even try to talk to you in a foreign language.
Ugh.
Fortunately, Brits love irony almost as much as they love red buses.