Every man and his dog is dreaming of mass deportations but only one man is talking about how we can actually send them home.
Gentlemen, listen up. Here’s what we need to do…
Send Them Home – A Step By Step Guide
Step 1: Cheat the Benefits Cheats
Send a letter to every foreigner saying they’ve “Won a free holiday to France!”
Inlcude a pre-paid plane ticket that leaves imminently.
They’re used to getting ridiculous amounts of free stuff from the government so this wont raise any suspicions at all.
Step 2: Use Our Military (for something other than bombing farmers in the Middle East)
Wait for them to voluntarily depart our delightful island.
Then close the borders and deploy the military to the streets for 48 hours to subdue the libs.
Step 3: Pop the Bubbly
Declare the day to be a new national holiday and celebrate with our people.
Now, let’s run the numbers
There’s 5 million foreigners in London and one-way flights to France cost £14.99 on EasyJet
(I wouldn’t subject my worse enemy to a flight on RyanAir)
5,000,000 x £14.99 = £74,950,000
So for 75 Mill we could save our capital(we could roll this out nationwide for 4 times that).
£75M x 4 = 300M
To put that number into context, £300 Million is less than 2 percent of our annual foreign aid budget.
(Which is money we just randomly give away to our enemies every year for no reason)
So we can 100% afford this plan no biggie. But, because I’m an industrious fellow. I wouldn’t dream of burdening my beloved tax payers with this scheme.
Instead, I would pull a Pelosi and secretly long EasyJet’s stock seconds before this policy launches.
The profit would comfortably cover the costs and pay for celebratory champagne to be sipped by all Anglo-Saxons on our new bank holiday.
This plan would save England and destroy France in one move… for free.
They’d be making statues of me for generations to come